Finally!

I'm sure some of you thought it might never happen, but I finally finished Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell.  On April 7th, 2013 at 10:10 pm.  If you haven't read it, this is something of a life moment for me.  That's all I have for you.  Start celebrating!

Gross, Hagrid

I finished listening to Harry Potter today.  Jim Dale is so much fun.  Of course I have several other reviews to write before I can get around to reviewing it, but I wanted to take a moment now to have some fun with it anyway.  You see, one of the worst things about the book is that Rowling completely fails to capitalize on the year when Harry and Ron start to notice girls and well, Hermione’s feelings are pretty much non-existent.

I refuse to miss out on all the magical teenage anguish that must have been floating around Hogwarts, so I did my very best to remove a few quotes as far from their context as possible and imagine that Rowling was actually giving us closely guarded hints at how being a teenage witch or wizard might really have been with so many students and so few teachers.

Let’s ease into this.  What exactly did Harry have in mind, I wonder:

And as the vela danced faster and faster, wild, half-formed thoughts started chasing through Harry’s dazed mind.  He wanted to do something very impressive, right now.

Harry’s dirty thinking - Chapter 8

This makes me uncomfortable for so many reasons:

“Nice socks, Potter.”  Moody growled as he passed, his magical eye staring through Harry’s robes.

Mad-Eye Moody to Harry - Chapter 23

I always figured Hagrid for a despicable old half-giant, but this is just obscene:

“Big bones…I’ll give her big bones.”

Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at one another nervously…

Hagrid to the Gang - Chapter 24

Never, ever, say prod:

(his voice was so quiet now, Harry leaned closer to listen) “if I can help at all…a prod in the right direction…I’ve taken a liking to you…”

Ludo Bagman to Harry - Chapter 24

Everything about this next one is filthy, but then her name is Moaning Myrtle after all:

“Oooh, very good,” she said, her thick glasses twinkling, “it took Diggory much longer than that!  And that was with her awake too”

Moaning Myrtle to Harry - Chapter 25

I’d venture to guess this is illegal for several reasons, but what do I know about Wizarding Law (also this is not actually funny):

Ron was tied between Hermione and Cho Chang.  There was also a girl who looked no older than eight…All four of them appeared to be in a very deep sleep.

Chapter 26

I can’t tell if it’s the “master” or the “winky” that makes this sound wrong:

“Master is needing his…Winky!”

Winky to Hermione - Chapter 28

I actually look forward to reviewing this book, and I hope to get around to soon.  Until then, which was the least appropriate?

How Do You Feel about Footnotes?

So.  What we have here is a page from Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell.  I've been reading this for weeks but I hope my pace will pick up, now that I've finished with a few tasks that had been taking up too much time, namely, studying and practicing for the GRE.

The first thing you will notice about this page is that it contains not one word of actual text.  Well, there's text there.  More precisely, the page contains not one word that is not a footnote.  It is a page that exists solely for the purpose of footnoting the main body of text.  Not only is this a page that exists tertiary to the story itself, but it is footnote continued from the previous page.  And it isn't even the longest footnote in the book.

Nevertheless, I can't decide if I love or hate this phenomenon yet.  There have certainly been instances when a footnote has seemed so unimportant that I cannot for the life of me determine why it has been included, and there have also been footnotes that I cannot for the life of me determine why it wasn't just a part of the damn story.  I just can't deny that act itself has the effect of supplementing the character of the telling.

Have you read it?  Your thoughts?

Decade in Review: The 1980's

As you know, the 1980’s are over.  I’ve actually been done with them for a few weeks now and I’m quite a ways into the 90’s already but my reviews are stacking up faster than I can make time for them.  I’m hoping to crank out a few more this week, but in the meantime, let’s bring the 1980’s in for a landing.

I think my top two covers are:

            1)      The Snow Queen

            2)     Startide Rising

 Highest HEP Score: With a perfect score of 25, this one goes to Cyteen by C.J. Cherryh which also qualifies for the Longest Book Of The Decade at 680-pages.

Lowest HEP Score: The low score is surprisingly high.  Downbelow Station also by C.J. Cherryh, had the lowest score of 18 and that was even a forgiving score because I didn’t feel I gave it a fair shake due to time.  I’m very interested by the fact that Cherryh had both of these titles and I’m anxious to read another of her books to see if it is as wildly unpredictable as these two were.

In fact, before I go any further, how but our favorite graphic:

The average HEP Score was up to 22.20 from 20.70 in the 80’s.  I think it’s safe to say that the further this challenge progresses, the more fun I’ve been having.  For some reason I’m still waiting for a bomb, but for the most part, the 80’s were a really great decade.  More on the stats later.

Biggest Surprise/Disappointment: I should have cared a lot about Necromancer by William Gibson, but the audiobook I listened to was terrible and completely ruined my experience.  Massive disappointment.

Mom Pick: Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card.  I don’t know, she probably wouldn’t be very likely to read this and might not actually enjoy it but I ended up here basically through the process of elimination.  My mom told me a couple weeks back that she doesn’t care about SF (I know, I started to wonder if I was adopted) and I immediately thought this would be a cool category for my Decade in Review post.  I’m not sure it worked as well as I had hoped for this decade but hopefully it will work better next time.

Favorite Character: Ariane Emory from Cyteen by C.J. Cherryh.  This is referring to Ariane 2.  Clone Ariane.  I enjoyed her turmoil and her outlook and how conflicted she always felt.  Runner-up went to Fiben Bolger, the Neo-Chimpanzee from The Uplift War by David Brin.

Favorite Gadget:  I think I’m gonna say the space elevator from The Fountains of Paradise by Arthur C. Clarke.  I liked the scale of the thing (on par with the catapult from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress), and I enjoyed the detailed experience of the entire fraught stop-and-go building process.  Runner-up goes to the battle room from Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card.  I still want one.

Favorite Featured Epic Quote: As with quotes posted from the 70’s, these were slim in the 80’s.  Startide Rising by David Brin wins handily for alien hijinks.  I’m really kicking myself for not posting some from The Uplift War by David Brin, though I did include some in the review itself.

Favorite Moment:  When Fiben when medieval on the fence in The Uplift War by David Brin, I was freaking out myself.  Literally in awe.  I loved it a lot.

Coolest Aliens: I love even the slightest mention of alien species but they were few and far between in the 80’s.  I’m gonna go with “Silky” from The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge.

Favorite Review:  I really enjoyed writing the review for The Uplift War by David Brin.  If I had to do it over again, I’d want to do it without attacking Brin for a statement he made in the epilogue of the book, but I still had fun.

Back to the stats.

Throughout the 80’s, I wrote a bit over 10,000 words in the 10 reviews from this decade with my longest being Downbelow Station followed by The Uplift War.

You probably noticed that I listened to quite a few audiobooks this go round.  If you didn’t, you missed it.  I’ve changed my chart a bit to reflect page totals or audiobook minutes of each book.  This shift was mostly thanks to Cyteen.  I took way too long on that book.

Overall, the books totaled 2,854-pages and because I only read 6 books, the average was 476-pages each book.  In fact, there was only one book under 400-pages.  Maybe some of those books I listened too would have brought the average down, but still, that’s quite a jump from the average of 281-pages in the 70’s!  

As for audiobooks, I listened to 4 for a grand total of 3094 minutes (about 51h 34m).  This averages 773.5 minutes per audiobook.

My last chart hasn’t changed much.  My library was all over the 1980’s Hugo Award winners and I didn’t need to go anywhere else.  Nice!

As I said, I’ve already started the 1990’s.  I’m something like 4 books into the decade and it has been one whopper after another.  Can the scores get much better than they were in the 80’s though?

Playing Jenga with Neal!

I'm catching up on reading, but I'm really behind on posting reviews.  Sorry.

Here's some goofiness to tide you over:

First, Neal posted about book piles here.

Then, Neal asked about book stacks here.

I thought I'd answer your question, Neal, with pictures.

We like our stacks too, Neal!

You actually know exactly how long my TBR pile is right now, but I also have a number of titles that I've picked up along the way this year that will probably keep me occupied for a while after I'm all done.

And we even decorate them for birthday parties!

Puttin' the Blog in Balrog - Lord of the Rings (Bk. 1 Pt. 1)

I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

This weekend was really busy for me, and then I took some extra time on my Hugo review for The Left Hand of Darkness.  The result was that I never was able to find the extra time to get around to my first post for the LOTR read along hosted by Book Snobbery.  If you thought you knew anything about Middle-earth, you ought to check out SJ’s discussions.  I mentioned that I’d be participating in this last week and though I’m behind on my first post, I’ve actually been able to keep up on the reading (and the singing) just fine.  This week covers the Fellowship of the Ring chapters 1-6 and as usual with non-Hugos right now, I’m listening to the audiobook read by Stephen Fry.  It’s a fairly good reading, but I think a goat could read LOTR and it would still be amazing (picture that).  On to the discussion where I’ll start with a mash-up answer of SJ’s discussion topics because I can’t really do them all justice:

Discussion Topics

• First time readers – are you keeping up okay?  Is everything fairly easy to follow so far, or are there things that need clarifying?
• Also for first time readers – what could be keeping Gandalf?  Any ideas or thoughts on why he hasn’t shown up again yet?
• Re-readers – Frodo’s dream in Crickhollow.  I think the last time I read this, I was high on Silmarillion and had convinced myself that he was talking about Elwing’s tower lighthouse instead of Tower Hills.  Now I can’t remember why I was so sure.  Thoughts?
• Old Man Willow – related to Ents, Huorns or neither?  Why?
• Um, did anyone else [fistpump] when they read this? :  ”We are horribly afraid, but we are coming with you.”  Man, these little hobbits.  I get emotional every time.  Am I the only one?

Sooo…  I’m not a first time reader.  I’ve read The Hobbit and the trilogy but nothing else (sadly).  That was about 8 to 10 years ago though (aside from the Hobbit which I read a few months back), so I’m kind of supes out of it and my memories of the books tend to be more nostalgic and fuzzy than anything else.  BUT, oh man, when I read these books for the first time it was like, like…THE BEST!  I was hardcore into these books and I took them with me to my college classes and read every second I wasn’t taking notes.  I remember reading The Lord of the Rings like the world was going to end if I took my eyes off the page.  I remember staring at those maps for hours.

Tolkien makes Middle-earth not just a real place, but a real place from the very moment the book begins.  His worldbuilding is poetic and intricate, but also natural and cozy.  Is there anyone who has read any part of these books and not dreamed of being on in the shire and smoking pipe weed with Gandalf or drinking in the Green Dragon with the hobbits?  If there is, tell me who they are and I will Orc-smash them.

I bought this cheap copy when I was a poor
college student.  Please don't hate.

My introduction to LOTR actually came through my family.  Of course I remember equal parts fear and wonder at the animated Hobbit when I was young, but my real introduction to Tolkien didn’t come till I was in college.  My brothers and Dad had read the books and loved Peter Jackson’s Fellowship and whenever I visited home during summer or holiday breaks, every conversation and joke was infused with Middle-earth lore and incessant hobbitisms (a few YOU SHALL NOT PASS!es thrown in here and there too).  I knew nothing about it but when they were being ridiculous, it was impossible to notice that I had been left out of something special.

Sidenote/confession: I had actually seen Jackson’s Fellowship by this time but it was one of the very first movies that I saw with my girlfriend at time (my wife and the mother of my child now :D) and I was apparently concentrating on other things than Frodo and Samwise because I had zero recollection of the story later!  I’m hoping that the fact that we ended up married will allow me to get away with this oversight, though I’m not sure there is any logic behind that plea.

ANYWAY.  Returning to SJ’s questions…  When I finally started reading Fellowship, I was ALL IN!  I had no trouble following along and I soaked up every little detail I could and I geeked-out over everything I could gladly.  I remember my calendar above my bed in my college apartment even had significant events marked and circled when it was possible to determine a date.

I still love it this time around listening to the audiobooks on the way to work, though to skip ahead and answer the [fist-pump] question, I learned my lesson about wild gestures and hysterical laughing during my very dangerous commutes when I listened to The Lies of Locke Lamora recently and I’ve had to be more subdued or risk moto-destruction.  Also, in college it probably wasn’t smart bringing LOTR into class no one was really going to say anything about it.  Now, I’d probably be fired.  Needless to say, I’ve toned it down a bit.  I’ve also decided I’m not going to listen to the audiobooks for the next two books because I think there is something lost in the listening (a rare thing to hear me say).

Okay, that’s all I’ve got in me for now.  Sorry I didn't get too deep into the actual substance.  Erg.  Frodo Lives!

Hold On To Your Butts

Null Hypothesis

Well, another decade is down and it’s time to start the analysis.  I’m no scientist but I have read a lot of science fiction.  I think that qualifies me to do fictional science.  It’s not even pseudo-science.  It’s HEP style.

To begin, I was interested in how the first two decades stack up against one another and the result was:

Figure 1: The HEP SCANALYZER detected high levels of embedded datastats

Both the HEP Scores and the length of the books gradually increased, though unsurprisingly, there doesn’t seem to be any correlation between the two. (Frantz, 2012)  Nevertheless I think I was able to capture a very nearly accurate formula for determining future HEP Scores.  After validating the formula with existing data from the 50’s and 60’s, the result is conclusively indecisive but highly exciting nonetheless!

Next, I used the hypothesis that x to determine a formula for predicting future HEP Scores.  I haven’t had this peer reviewed yet, but once I have a few more years of data I can further refine my calculations and probably submit my findings to the journal Nature, probably.  Anyway, here’s the HEP Score formula:

Where:

The next step layer of analysis investigated the levels and sources of acquisition support.  These people/places have facilitated significant time spent on book reviews with minimal investment.  Thanks!

Figure 2: Sources of reading books

In this case, you can see a subset of the population are actually cohorts with the book reviewer and further analysis showed their contributions aided in the procurement of hard-to-find titles.  Holla.

Works Cited

Frantz, J. R. (2012). My Brain. The Genius Review, 1064.

Library Brat

After so many weeks of making hold requests and checking on the next week's book, I am excited to say that as of last week I have memorized my entire library card barcode!


For the 50's I was only able to get a couple books from our library and most of the time had to look elsewhere.  For the 60's though, only one title has not been available.  I am officially a public library user.

What Have You Found?

So, it's always fun to get a library book and find a little accidentally discarded piece of someone else's life or something you can't explain.  Most of the time I just find lists or tickets to somewhere or the random things people use for bookmarks.  Recently though I've found some strange things.


In Red Mars I found a piece of paper upon which the previous borrower had been making comparisons between conditions on Earth and Mars.  There were two columns with all sorts of things like atmospheric pressure, forces of gravity etc...  There was also scratches all over with random, quick thoughts about life on Mars.  I wonder if they were fact checking Robinson's work or maybe just trying to get a handle on how strong they will be when they finally live on Mars.  It was fun and now that I'm nearly finished with the book, I realize how compelling the book is and I can only imagine how excited that borrower might have been to think about what the surface of Mars would feel like to them.


My ultimate find was in last week's book.  Starship Troopers was a donation to the library system from someone's estate and had a big sticker in the front, so that was kind of fun to think about what that person's collection may have been like.  I imagine they died of lung disease because the book smelled like I could have smoked it.  Maybe it was just the last borrower.  Anyway, the book had generally been through a lot.  There were folded pages, the cover was a bit mangled and there was a HUGE blue ink spot that leaked through probably 50 pages.  Along with all the other smudges and dings and dents, about a quarter of the way into the book, I found a perfect black fingerprint!  Not just the tip, but the whole dang finger.  I like to munch and drink while I read as much as anyone else, but what the stink was this person dipping their fingers in while they were reading that it would leave such a perfect fingerprint?  Oh Gods!  Did I just find a clue to one of the Seven murders?


So, I'm curious if anyone else has found anything interesting in their library books lately?

Place Your Bets

2012 Grand Master Reading Challenge

Remember a couple weeks ago when I wrote about the website, WorldsWithoutEnd and the BookTrackr function?  Well, the site also administers the Grand Master Reading Challenge, which I am participating in by adding to the site those reviews I've done here which also qualify for the challenge (2 so far).  The challenge itself is pretty boss and the website in general is an HUGE resource for science fiction, fantasy and horror books.  It is worth checking out in its own right.  I have especially enjoyed using BookTracker to keep track of the books I've read and how many books I've read from various lists.  I really spend too much time at this site.


If that is not enough to get you over to this site, consider this:  the two reviews I've contributed have been featured on their GMRC Blog and as such will be in the running for the monthly prize for the best GMRC review!  To give you an understanding of how important this is I refer you to the challenges prize details.

Swag:

• The winnning reviewer each month will receive prizes from the WWEnd prize box and everlasting glory.
• Participants who complete the challenge will receive a prize to be determined later.
• Prizes include: T-Shirts, buttons, books and bookmarks, etc.

The swag is cool and I'm pretty excited about it, but I think you all know what I am really gunning for.  EVERLASTING. GLORY.  This contest is not just for play play; this contest is for realz.  What is great is that any member of WWEnd can vote for that month's winner!  This means you people.  YOU!


Voting has not yet begun (don't worry, I'll remind you) since February ends today but you should all take this brief period, prior to the initiation of the voting period, to sign up (for free) with WWEnd, start using BookTracker and get ready to vote me into the annals of Everlasting Glory.  I'm gonna need to hear from you, readers, because the other reviews I'll be competing against are really freaking good.

Nebula Award Nominees Announced

The 2011 Nebula Awards have been announced

For many of the awards other than Best Novel and Dramatic Presentation, there are links to a PDF or other version of the nominees so now's your chance to read them for real low cheap.


This reminded me how excited I am for the 2012 Hugo Nominees.  It also reminded me that I won't be able to read all the nominees before the winner is chosen, which is sad but necessary as it has been commanded by the die.  I guess I'll just check out everything except the Best Novel nominees.  That's allowed, right?

Geeking Out

Over at the website Worlds Without End, they have a feature called BookTrackr.  If you are a member of the site (free), you can keep track of books you've read and it automatically updates how many books from various awards or book lists that you have read.  Pretty cool if you'd like to be able to keep track of that sort of thing.  You can also give each book a 1 to 10 rating.  Which is also pretty cool if your a fan of numbers.


Of course the lists are all Science Fiction, Fantasy or Horror related.  I just started to populate my list and I'm kind of freaking out.  I like lists.  And turtles.  I like turtles.