16 February 2012

Ali's Response

It is so curious that one can remember such events in so completely different ways to show different lights that favor their side so obviously. It is very clear that with your old age it has become increasingly difficult to remember the day to day activities and unmonumental conversions held in passing. I, on the other hand being much younger and lets just come out and say it, having much nicer hair than you, have no trouble at all recalling such events. I can give you a complete and flawless script complete with stage directions of the so called suggestion I, as Keri mentioned, tried to help you with a dilemma.

While I was lying on the bed, Emmeline was performing the first concerto in the Suzuki book four. I was eating a homemade organic hummus with bits of roasted red pepper because you had finished all of the s’more pop tarts that I was counting on as my after run snack. Emmeline had just finished the bottom of the second page with the intricate slur bows when you shouted in horror. Emmeline stopped in her tracks and asked you inquisitively, "Father, whatever is wrong? Did I play a c# there again?"

You looked at her with loving eyes and apologized for your rude interruption.

Me, knowing that your sanity is slipping so you call out exclamations often for no good reason, did not look up or break my gaze with Emmeline's so graceful bow arm, watching her bent thumb making sure there was no tension to strangle her flawless phrases.

You yelled out again, something more resembling a nonsensical growl from an old man who had just dropped a donut into the crease of his lazy-boy recliner between the arm and the seat cushion just out of reach. I looked up then and asked what I could help you with.

You replied that you had rolled the die, and you were unable to attain the book you needed for the upcoming week.

I then suggested possibly re-rolling the die for the camera just out of view again, that you so interestedly performed on your last Friday fully mastered YouTube video production and lie again to your faithful viewers. I knew that you lied the first time because I was present for the entire sacrilegious creation. At that, I laid my head back down reaching for my jade tea, gifted to me this Christmas and focused back on Emmeline's performance.

If you would like to blame your lies on someone else to make yourself feel better about yourself, please pick a fight worth fighting and don't ask for help getting your grubby little paws on another book, because I think I might be busy.

In response to: Honest Lasts Longest


  1. I find just about everything about this tale, except our names, completely fictional and your accusations spurious and misleading.

    If you are trying to evoke a harsher penalty for your wrongdoings, you are well on your way. What say you to that?!

  2. I must admit that I find this dispute a bit more entertaining than your last review. A real life saga, in which your wife impugns your very integrity and frankly your hair, brings more to the table than a review of the last Hugo Award winner. I say that you add your marital commentary to the blog each week to complete it. I am sorry to say my friend, but Ali really is the peanut butter to your jelly sandwich.


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